Stained Glass Perspective
My Mom was rather enterprising as I was growing up. In fact, it was not uncommon for her to learn a new skill only to make it profitable within a few months. From macrame to cross-stitch, my Mom was always engaged in a project and a sale. At one point, she even learned to do stained glass. Once again, she turned her talents into a small business.
As her business was gaining traction, my Mom would occasionally drive to NYC to pick up the sheets of stained glass that were needed for upcoming orders. She was usually gone only a day or two, gathering supplies in the Big Apple. However, once I heard the distinctive sound of our VW van pulling up in front of our house, I always rushed outside to welcome her home and to help unload the colorful panels of glass.
I remember being in our van following one of her trips, nervously trying to carry out one of the delicate panels, when my Mom firmly stated, If you’re too careful or you’ll break the glass. I was struck by her comment, yet I’ve never forgotten her words.
While my Mom’s counsel seemed rather counterintuitive at the time, she was actually right, not that I ever doubted.
Being “too careful” when handling glass often leads to the carrier being overly timid or tense in an effort to avoid dropping the piece.
If you grip the edges too tightly or too rigidly in order to support the glass, the added stress placed on those points can cause the panel to flex and even snap.
However, a confident, balanced approach prevents both strain and fatigue.
Ironically, overthinking the process can increase the chances of a slip up.
While this is sound advice for anyone preparing to handle a sheet of colored glass, somewhere along my journey as a Mom, I realized this counsel applies to parenting, as well.
Being “too careful” in this role can cause our children to view us as being timid and ineffective as parents. We can also become overly tense by the thought of slipping up and failing our children.
If we have too tight of a grip when we’re raising our children or if we’re too rigid in our approach with them, the stress between parent and child can cause one or both of us to snap.
By developing more confidence in our parenting skills and being more balanced in our approach with our children, we can actually strengthen this special bond rather than adding strain and fatigue to our relationship.
A key take away for all parents is don’t over think the process of raising your children.
Just like the 'terrible twos' and the teen years, there seems to be a lot of negativity surrounding ‘adult children’. It is an adjustment, to be sure. Family dynamics shift when children become adults and start making a life for themselves. Yet, it's also an exciting time for that newly minted adult.
My husband and I worked in tandem to raise our three children. They're all adults now. Our fridge is no longer filled with their colorful artwork, yet we continue to strengthen those bonds through texts, call and even visits. While we're no longer raising little ones, our adult children still reach out to us for feedback, guidance or even to share their latest embarrassing moment. We’re very proud of them for successfully navigating this new phase of life, with only a few scrapes along the way.
Whether you’re busy raising a young family or you’re an empty nester, sharing feedback from the sidelines, know when to hold tight and when to lessen your grip. Don’t overthink it. Just enjoy the season you’re in and the family you’re with.
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