Banana-Split Response

Despite the years, or rather decades, that have passed since I turned 18, I remember it being  a significant milestone in my life. Months beforehand, I came up with a list of things I wanted to do as I ushered in this special day. At the top of this list, in the #1 spot, was something nearly every American, from the age of 5 to 105, has experienced at least once in their lifetime, but not me. 

Up to that point, I had a very rich and fulfilling life, yet somewhere along the way, I missed out on the opportunity to experience my first… banana split. Unfortunately, at the time of my 18th birthday, our local Dairy Queen was closed for the season. It wouldn’t reopen for another month. When they did finally open their doors, I was among those customers eagerly waiting in line to place my much anticipated order.

After securing my 1st banana split, I returned to my car and drove the short distance back to my house. Afterall, I had waited 18 years for this moment and I wanted to savor it alone, not surrounded by a group of strangers at the neighborhood Dairy Queen. Yet, even in that brief 5 minute drive, my banana split was already starting to melt, so I carefully placed it in the fridge before darting to my room to grab the latest book I was reading. As I rushed back down the stairs, with my book in hand, I was finally ready to immerse myself in my long-awaited banana split, as well as a good book.

As I excitedly threw open the refrigerator door, I was shocked to find the shelf was empty. My banana split was gone! As I panned the kitchen for evidence as to where it could’ve gone, I noticed the door to our back yard was open. Looking through the doorway into the yard, I suddenly knew exactly where my banana split had gone. 

Within my view, stood the 2-story fort that was a second home, of sorts, for my younger brother, who was 11 years old, at the time. Between the wooden slats on the upper level of the fort, I could just make out the silhouette of my brother and…my banana split.

The back door slammed behind me as I stormed out of the house and made my way across the yard. The closer I got to the fort and my brother, the angier I got. I waited years for this perfectly curated moment, only to have it taken from me by, none other than, my little brother. Fuming with anger as I stood at the base of the towering fort, I loudly reprimanded my brother as he crouched in the corner of the top floor, happily enjoying my banana split. Exasperated, I began throwing out comments like: 

You’re the most selfish person I’ve ever known. 

I don’t even know how you can live with yourself. 

You are a terrible person. 

As I was busy flinging insults at my brother, a head quietly popped up from the hedge, which separated our yard from our neighbor’s. In a timid, almost apologetic tone, our sweet neighbor asked if she had done something to offend me. Unaware that my brother was in his fort, she assumed that I was yelling these hurtful comments directly at her. From where I stood in our backyard, I couldn’t see our neighbor as she was weeding along the hedge line and she couldn’t see my brother who was safely tucked away within the fort.

My lack of perspective made a bad situation even worse. I was completely mortified by my actions; especially knowing that I had caused our dear neighbor such distress. I apologized immediately and repeatedly, that day and every day that I saw her for the next several weeks. 

The following day, I had a 2nd attempt at my 1st banana split. This time, it was my brother’s treat. I’m happy to report, my 1st banana split was definitely worth the wait, despite all the unexpected delays.  Surprisingly enough, that 2nd, 1st banana split was also my last. In all the years that followed since I turned 18, I’ve never had another banana split. Until 3 weeks ago, when my husband and I stumbled upon the Manheim Twin Kiss diner in Manheim, Pennsylvania. On a whim, he ordered us a banana split to share (and a side of fries with gravy). Both were incredible!

As I enjoyed my 2nd banana split, without the backyard drama, I reflected over the lessons I learned as a new adult, all those years ago. 

I learned, firsthand, that emotions can get the better of us, when we don’t take the time to see things from the other person’s perspective.

Rather than acting in haste with a split-second response, I may later regret,  I’ve learned to evaluate a situation before I say or do something that could make the situation worse.

These were hard lessons to learn as a young adult, but they were certainly made sweeter with the help of my first banana split.