Learning the Ropes

When our children were young, my husband and I wanted to instill a strong work ethic in them. Around the time they started school, we introduced our children to the concept of  “chores”. However, we decided to take a different route from the traditional chores we remembered from our own childhoods. 

To accomplish our goal, we divided the chores of our home into 2 categories: daily chores and weekly chores, with a baggie labeled for each category. In the daily bag there were brightly-colored Post-Its folded in half. Written inside each Post-It would be 1 of the 3 chores related to family dinner. These chores included the following:

• set & clear the table

• unload/load dishwasher

• vacuum living and dining room. 

This is how our children 1st began “learning the ropes” of running a home. The daily chores ensured that the main living area of our home was tidied up everyday after dinner. While our children tackled their daily chores, my husband and I tackled the kitchen. In less than 20 minutes, the main floor was clean and ready for a new day. 

Each Sunday, our children would draw from the daily bag to see what their chore would be for the upcoming week. It truly was the luck of the draw. No one knew what chore they were going to pull, from one week to the next. Despite the uncertainty, our children loved being able to choose for themselves rather than being told what to do. However, with only three options to choose from, there were times when a child had the same chore for several weeks in a row. While this could cause a child to feel frustrated, their frustration was at the situation, not at us as the parents, which is another perk of having them choose. 

The daily bag was a great way to introduce our children to the concept of having stewardship over a specific task. Naturally, my husband and I guided our children as they learned how to do each chore. It wasn’t always pretty or idyllic. It required time and patience from everyone, but it was worth the investment. Throughout the process, we showered our children with praise as they worked to hone their skills. As they improved, they began to take pride in their work and in helping to put the house together at the end of each day. 

As our children got a little older, we decided to up the ante by introducing the weekly bag. Unlike the daily bag, the weekly had more than just 3 options. As our children grew in their skills, so did the possibilities. The weekly bag included chores that we did more thoroughly on a weekly basis such as… 

• vacuuming the other  floors of the house

• mopping the kitchen floor

• cleaning the bathroom

• taking the trash out

• mowing the yard 

At the beginning of each month, our children would choose a chore from the weekly bag. These were written on Post-Its, just like the daily chores. Doing a weekly chore for an entire month gave our children more opportunities to practice. Being that these chores were usually done on a weekly basis, our children only had to do that chore 4 times in a given month. 

Our children loved the variety and ownership these bags provided. As a Mom, I loved watching my children improve in the many skills it takes to keep a house clean and organized. There weren’t “girl” chores or “boy” chores, but rather everyone learned how to do every task. I knew these were valuable skills that would follow our children into adulthood as they set up their 1st dorm, apartment or house. 

As our children improved in their abilities, it was not only a great benefit to our home, it was a great benefit to our family, as well. We learned to work as a team, which instilled a greater sense of respect for one another and for our home.  I was always grateful for our children’s contributions to our home. However, I never fully understood the impact of their skills until I was diagnosed with breast cancer in the summer of 2018. As a healthy, active woman, this diagnosis came as a complete surprise to me and my young family. 

Learning to juggle my health issues, as well as the daily routines of life was a delicate, and oftentimes difficult, balance. I was humbled time and again as I watched our children step into action, caring for our home as my husband cared for me. I was so grateful that we had taken the time to teach our children these valuable life skills.  Learning the ropes of caring for a house allowed my children to  maintain things while I recuperated. Together, they took an incredible weight off my shoulders, allowing me to focus entirely on getting well once again. 

I never expected to battle cancer while raising a young family, yet they were such a support to me. Our children were not only taught the how-tos of running a home, but the how-tos of working as a team. As a team, we navigated through this uncertain and frightening time.